Changing My Corner of the World

Everyone talks about winning the lottery and what they would do with the money. Big dreams, expensive trips, no bills, it’s all In there. Some talk of building schools that are run by teachers, others will give to their churches and communities.
I am a giver. Sometimes to the point that I overload myself with giving and honestly get so immersed I forget to let others find the same joy by giving to me. I make it hard for them and I regret those moments, days, and sometimes years. I let my need to be independent and invincible overcome.
If I had a million dollars (thanks Barenaked Ladies) I would want to do something that makes a difference. Something I could get right in the middle of and face the disappointments, tragedies, joys, and triumphs first hand. I want to change a little piece of the world. To give some hope where it is missing. To show my little piece that what society and the media offer are not the only choices. That they can have a better life than the one they Are currently living. That they don’t have to face it alone.
Recently my community and I experienced a loss. A good person who worked at making his little piece of the world a place that people came for help and healing. I watched him bring kids alive, the kids no one else could get to share. He wasn’t Superman, but he was always trying to save us, even when none of us realized it.
A year and a half ago, another friend passed away. At the funeral home I kept waiting for him to walk in the door, smiling from ear to ear, hugging everyone in sight. It never happened, he wasn’t coming in the door again, but I try to remember his joy in life and find the moments (and sometimes they truly are just moments) to hold onto when life gets dark and dreary.
I want to be a person like that. Who changes her small corner of the world somehow. Who helps change others by dropping the pebble into the pond and watching the ripples spread.


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