Conversations in an Elementary School

Art Linkletter had it right when he stated, “Kids say the darndest things.”  Working in an elementary school, you realize there is no limit to what kids will say and how hysterical they really are.

Some recent conversations I had:

1. The Pre-Kindergarten comes in once a week to check out a book.  Once the books are checked out, the adults get them into their coats and backpacks to head home.  I never know what conversations will occur at this point.

“Can you help me zip my coat?’

“Sure” as I sit down on a stool to help.

The next thing I know small hands are plucking at me.

“High five!  High five!”  Three of them are holding up hands.  This requires a chance to slap my palm while I make the appropriate noises of agony due to the “strength” of their slaps.

The next thing I know the kids have their hands in beak formation and are pecking at me, like chickens.  My arms, my hair.  Nothing is safe.

“You know, you should shave your head.” says a small boy with a big grin as he swipes his hand over my head.


“You should shave your head.”  Several others chime in at this point, also swiping their hands over my head.

“Why would I shave my head?”

“Because” giggle, giggle, “it would make you look ugly!” as they all dissolve into gleeful giggles.

Still haven’t figured out why it was so funny I might look ugly.

2.  Yesterday many of the classes had their “Holiday” parties.  The kids all call them Christmas parties, but they aren’t old enough to be politically correct.  When they finish with the party, the kids head into the hallway and spread the cheer to the rest of the building.

I had so many stop in today offering cookies and cupcakes, I finally looked at the five or six from the first grade classroom and said, “What are you doing giving me all this?  Do you want to make me fat like Santa?”

They chorused, “YES!”

I said, “So I can come down the chimney like he does?”

And they headed out, laughing their heads off at me stuffing myself down a chimney.

3.  “Are you sweating?”

“No.” I anwered.  “Do I look like I am?”


End of conversation.  Still have no idea what prompted the question.

4.  “Do those shoes hurt?” asked a lovely young lady.

“No.” because I was wearing flats and wasn’t really sure where this was going.  “Do they look like they would hurt?”

“No, I just wondered.” with a shrug of her little shoulders.

This is what makes me smile all day long.  How could I not?


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